Showing posts with label humorous poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humorous poetry. Show all posts

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me

For someone who complained about getting older, Jim sure loved to celebrate his birthday.


Happy Birthday to Me

Birthdays come around each year
There's no use to fight it
They add no bounce to our step
There's no use to deny it

There's one thing I don't understand
If birthdays come so slow and steady
How come they get here 90 days
Before I'm even ready?

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Santa II

I found his poem in a sewing machine drawer with counted cross stitch supplies. It was typed on onionskin typing paper, the kind people used before Spell Check, when typos needed to be manually erased. The typing is pretty bad, which means it had to have been pecked out by Jim.


Santa II


I heard the clacking on the roof
The night was geting cold and darker
As Santa parked his sleigh and reindeer
Out jumped my friends, Jim and Norma Parker.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Poem For Michael

Did I mention that Norma was a horder? I have spent this morning going through boxes in one corner of the two car garage. There were eight boxes piled up and they looked fairly innocent. Jim may have been puzzled by Norma's cookbook addiction, but I would like a nickle for every greeting card she bought and didn't mail. If you need greeting cards, give The Hope Center in Waverly a couple weeks and they'll have a selection that's better than Wal-Mart's over on the By-Pass.

In the last box, as I could see the end of today's garage cleaning objective in sight, I began to get a little brazen. Rather than thumbing through each piece of paper (yes, I am Norma's daughter), I felt the urge to begin chucking handsful of paper into the trash (Jim's daughter began to take over). I stopped as I found a stenopad because, even though I had found scads of empty ones and others full of grocery lists, you just never know what to expect from Norma and Jim.

The first page contained kitchen measurements for a possible remodelling job. The second page had this poem. And a list of utility bills for the month. Like I said, you just never know with those two. The rest of the pages were blank.

Poem for Michael


Now, don't be upset, Michael,
At this card's lack of humor
'Cause when it comes to getting laughs
Some folks are just late bloomers

So if this card has no class
Don't let it bother you a bit
'Cause you have all the class it takes
To cover this card's lack of it.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Santa Went to Mexico

Each Christmas, Jim included a poem in cards he and my mother sent to friends and family. Some were religious, some were topical. He had mixed feelings about NAFTA.
Santa went to Mexico,
He could hire elves for less
But misfortunate came upon him,
So sad you couldn't guess.
His reindeer couldn't stand the heat
His sleigh stuck in the sand
His deliveries took 'til April 1st
With a pick-up and a van.
~December, 1996