The Saving Grace of 'Catch-22'

This article first appeared in the June 7, 2000 issue of The Camden Chronicle

When I heard on the news that Joseph Heller died, it sent my mind sailing backwards to a time when things were not going well for me and he helped me laugh my way through my low time.  

You see, Heller wrote a book called "Catch-22." It was about an Army Air Force bombardier who had seen too much German flak thrown up at his plane during bombing runs and was seeking any way to be grounded in order to stop his missions. The book's central character was Air Force Captain Yossarian and he was about as craven a coward as you'll ever read about, but don't feel superior because he is not unique. I'm almost certain that everyone who has ever fought in a war has shared Yossarian-type feelings.

Yossarian wanted to be declared insane and grounded by the medical staff, thus ending his dangerous missions over Italy where Hermann Goering's (Hitler's Luftwaffe leader) anti-aircraft gunners were defending targets. The trouble for Yossarian was that the Army's medical section opined a bombardier who wasn't afraid was a crazy person. The scared ones were perfectly normal, thus "Catch-22."

At the time I read the book I was in as blue a funk as Capt. Yossarian. The milk plant where I had worked since my 18th birthday had closed down and laid off its entire staff. Management included. I was as scared as Yossarian because I was having to plot a whole new course for my life's work. I had a young consort and a child to protect and support, a mortgage to meet and bills to pay. Money was scarce.

From my 18th birthday, the day I was hired at the milk plant, until the day I was summarily dismissed, I never expected to work at any other place. Career-wise, I thought I had found a home. As I found out when I was reading "Catch-22," there are forces working against all of us which we don't have much control over. Despite all of our plans, sometimes we must grab hold of the nearest hand grip and go along for the ride.While we're at it, we might as well relax and enjoy the ride we're on.

Because of my youth and my willingness to work, I had been welcomed into all parts of the milk plant. In three or four years, I was on speaking terms with people in every aspect of the plant's operations. Because of his, and the fact that I showed up for work everyday, I was a valued, well-paid employee who was appointed to break in the college grads recently recruited from Michigan State with degrees in Animal Husbandry and Dairy Management.

I had so much confidence I was cocky and real sure of myself, conditions that don't lend themselves to much fright or self-reflection. When the boom was lowered, I was in no condition to handle the pressure.

As Yossarian did, I panicked. At first I went into a state of denial. I didn't want anyone to know I had lost my job. I just couldn't bring myself to believe there would be no more job to go to each morning, where I would be completely confident of what I had to do and the manner in which I was to do it. For a week, I told people who asked that I was on vacation. I knew soon or later I would have to admit I was out of work. Not just out of work, it was worse than that. I was forced into a new system of life where I was just another "hand."

The woman I consorted with then, and as now, tried to console me but I refused to be comforted. The questions I asked myself and the decisions I had to make were mountainous to me. For the first time in a long time, I lost confidence in myself. Ask any athlete what a loss of confidence means. I asked myself questions like, should I accept the first job offer that comes along or hold out for a better one? Should I look for work in other fields or restrict myself to applications in the dairy industry, a field I knew well. "Catch-22" conditions had forced my company out of business and and was affecting the entire industry in Detroit. Very few companies were hiring new people. I found out there were plenty of other guys like me in the job market with as much skill and experience.

Then I happened on Joseph Heller's book and I realized there are worse conditions to be in than merely out of work. It was a fun book. I laughed when I read the lines that reminded me of myself and how I had overreacted to my situation. Sure enough, it wasn't long before I was established in another job and enjoying my work again.

On the last page of "Catch-22," Yossarian is asked how he feels. "I'm very frightened," was his reply. "That's good," the Major doing the asking said. "That proves you're still alive."